I have a toddler and power struggles are the name of the game. Pee after waking up? No way. Brush your teeth? Not in the least chance. Want to eat something? You gotta be out of your mind!
When every single action is perceived as a command and hence a challenge against authority, the parent child relationship quickly becomes hellish. I find myself stuck trying to control my annoyance and to “gentle parent” my toddler into compliance with no luck on a daily basis.
One tactic that has reliably worked thus far is to introduce humour and fun into the mundane. Instead of walking to the bathroom, my daughter and I practice a “ballerina dance” and make our way. For lunch today, we pretended that the rice, dal and veggies would start crying if not eaten and my toddler told the dal “to wait, I am coming to you, don’t cry” while quickly gobbling up her rice. I was shocked at how well that worked!
My hypothesis for why this works: viewing a situation through a humourous lens somehow rewires it in my child’s head and turns it not a task or command to be obeyed but something fun to engage in. After all – we all learn best through play.
The same joke wouldn’t work all the time of course – children are not robots and they can easily see through tasks thinly veiled as a “joke”. But the general principle applies. It’s hard finding a creative and fun way to sell something to my kid, but it’s been a good learning to try. Also, this makes the work less mundane for me as a parent as well, so win-win!
My biggest revelation this year is that parenting a toddler is a crash course in leadership, and this new insight only solidifies this belief.
Shweta Padmanaban 