Toddlers have been described by the internet as emotional terrorists 😂 Caring for said toddlers make for exhausting days but also provide great lessons in parenting and leadership. Interestingly, all the lessons are universally applicable to dealing with grown ups and not just toddlers. 🙂 I have been learning and re-learning two useful lessons on a daily basis. Hat tip to Big Little Feelings who suggested these tactics on helping toddlers deal with new siblings!
- The fire department uses water to put out fires
When faced with an emotional and unreasonable person, the default human response is to scream back and escalate the situation. However, this has ALWAYS made the situation worse and led to power struggles in the long run, even if the immediate battle is sometimes won. The more effective thing to do is to de-escalate by controlling our emotions first, then, helping the toddler deal with theirs. Being calm, cool and confident is contagious.
Obviously, a pre-requisite to doing this is to have a reserve of willpower to draw from, which is much harder to come by when operating on limited sleep and energy. This is where venting to your partner at the end of the day comes in. 😉
2. When dealing with tantrums, the best thing to do is to lean IN
My default nature is to avoid big showdowns and confrontations but unfortunately they are part of everyday life when dealing with a 2 year old who is trying to adjust to life where she is no longer the only star and focus of the household. The root cause of such tantrums is a need to receive more attention and affirmation, and reducing communication in an attempt to cool the situation is NOT helpful. Instead, what has worked wonders is implementing dedicated 1-1 time with no distractions and no external commitments. I’ve now re-instated some favourite rituals with my child (that were put on pause with the new baby), and am hoping to add some new ones in the coming weeks.
Both these lessons are so transferable in business and leadership. It further reinforces my belief that great parents make for great managers.
Shweta Padmanaban 